You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
