Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
