I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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