You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
