Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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