two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize