do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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