one might say we're banned from that church
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize