Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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