im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
