I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
