Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
