I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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