We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
