two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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