Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
