cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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