Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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