the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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