Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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