aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
