Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
