I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
only you would photoshop your dick
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
