Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
