I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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