the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
