this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
