I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
not ubering you a puppy
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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