I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
