genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
