I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
