Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
