I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I enjoy the company of your penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
