At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
