I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have post one night stand depression
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