Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
