Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
