I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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