put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Will exercising make me less horny?
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