Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
