She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
