Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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