It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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