do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
