Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize