I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
