She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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