Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize