Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
