I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
