You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
