You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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