allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
