how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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