i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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