Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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