i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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