I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
